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Tonight on Million
Dollar Listing: Springfield.

2
00:00:32,264 --> 00:00:34,235
We once again have only

3
00:00:34,302 --> 00:00:36,139
one house in this whole town

4
00:00:36,239 --> 00:00:37,542
worth a million dollars.

5
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I keep telling you,
I don't want to sell.

6
00:00:39,546 --> 00:00:41,550
This area has
a great school system

7
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,488
and I'm thinking
of starting a family.

8
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My children, fight each other
to the death for my love.

9
00:00:50,367 --> 00:00:51,770
I'm here in
the sculpture garden,

10
00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:53,641
and we can't keep
the buyers away.

11
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Maybe it's the fresh-baked
morphine cookies.

12
00:00:56,714 --> 00:00:59,620
Open concept dungeon,

13
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four panic rooms,

14
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hot and cold running oxygen.

15
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Good old reality TV.

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Snappy editing, no content.

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Homer.

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Marge.

19
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What the...?

20
00:01:25,838 --> 00:01:29,412
I'm hosting book club tonight,
and I was thinking,

21
00:01:29,478 --> 00:01:32,084
maybe you'd like to go to Moe's
until we're done.

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You want me to go to Moe's?

23
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I do.

24
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How drunk can I get?

25
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Stinking or falling down?

26
00:01:37,729 --> 00:01:39,365
Uh, how about "sociable"?

27
00:01:39,465 --> 00:01:41,670
What I'm hearing
is wedding drunk.

28
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Wedding drunk, cash bar.

29
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Fine.

30
00:01:45,243 --> 00:01:47,649
So, who liked the book?

31
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Not me. It was a farewell
to my Saturday.

32
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Hemingway is so clichéd.

33
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This book about Italian
ambulance drivers was...

34
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...boring, boring, boring.

35
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There wasn't enough
smoking in it for me.

36
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May I speak mah piece?

37
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What's your problem, Daisy May?

38
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Couldn't make it through
the audiobook?

39
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Well, ah thinks
it's a classic of style

40
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that's more than a war story
and more than a love story.

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With deceptively simple prose

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as lean and sturdy
as a half-ton marlin.

43
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I-I mean...

44
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my eyes was bewitchefied with
all them squiggels and squirms.

45
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Well... I-I best git.

46
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I left
all my kids with a nanny.

47
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You free Saturday?

48
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Then, the hillbilly woman
made a comment

49
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that was profound
and insightful.

50
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She's secretly smart.

51
00:02:53,446 --> 00:02:57,421
Uh, Helen, please do not
gossip in church.

52
00:02:59,826 --> 00:03:02,297
Did you hear about Brandine?

53
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Well, it would be nice
to hear something other than.

54
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"Let me go, I have a family."

55
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Well, I tried
"you're under arrest,"

56
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but you just laughed.

57
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We got some nice wigglers.

58
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They pair well with a hook.

59
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Mm, I'll take a box
of Napa Valley reds.

60
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:20,868
Hey, Spuckler.

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00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:22,605
I just want to warn you.

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Your wife isn't the woman
you think she is.

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Just what does you mean?

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She's smart.
Jeopardy smart.

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Celebrity Jeopardy!?

66
00:03:31,990 --> 00:03:33,828
Regular Jeopardy.

67
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You do not tell a man
he don't know his wife.

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That's like telling a man
his gun's not loaded.

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You let him find that out
at the worst possible time.

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00:03:44,750 --> 00:03:45,985
Well, you should know.

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00:03:46,052 --> 00:03:49,693
When your wife left
the book club, she dropped this.

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00:03:51,930 --> 00:03:55,738
Liberry has two R's?

73
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- Your bait, sir.
- You just keep your worms.

74
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I gots me bigger fish to fry.

75
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Go on, git.

76
00:04:04,956 --> 00:04:07,796
What a senseless waste of worms.

77
00:04:08,798 --> 00:04:11,335
Men receiving credit
for women's work in science

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00:04:11,402 --> 00:04:13,641
has been dubbed
"The Matilda Effect,"

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with such victims as
Lise Meitner,

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00:04:16,379 --> 00:04:19,953
Rosalind Franklin,
and Jocelyn Bell Burnell.

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How many pumpkin stickers
will it take for you to stop?

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Here, have the whole sheet.

83
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This is really important.

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Each of these heroines
was nonplussed

85
00:04:28,336 --> 00:04:30,140
at their lack
of recognition and...

86
00:04:30,207 --> 00:04:31,375
Sorry, Lisa.

87
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I don't think you're using
that word correctly.

88
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Nonplussed? Ha.

89
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I'm pretty sure I am.

90
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It means perplexed.

91
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It does.

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As in,
"The teacher was nonplussed

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00:04:46,974 --> 00:04:48,677
by the impudence of a student."

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When I grow up,
I want to be a big word.

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Lisa, you get in the back
of the class and keep quiet.

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Do I get an "A"?

97
00:04:55,625 --> 00:04:57,795
An "A" for "aggravation."

98
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An A's an A!

99
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,084
Cletus, darling,

100
00:05:09,151 --> 00:05:10,453
I-I made your favorite.

101
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Sorry, but I'm in no mood
for porcu-pie right now.

102
00:05:14,094 --> 00:05:15,998
Brandine, tell me true.

103
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,836
Are you actually smart?

104
00:05:17,936 --> 00:05:21,910
Have all your yups
just being yeses in disguise?

105
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:24,181
Aw, don't be silly.

106
00:05:24,281 --> 00:05:26,185
Why? The only three R's I know

107
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:29,024
are racoons, Red Bull
and the rhythm method.

108
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Please, I needs to know.

109
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Brandine, who is you?

110
00:05:39,679 --> 00:05:42,986
Darling, I'm afraid
I'm guilty of concealing

111
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a significant self-improvement.

112
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Guh-what??

113
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It started a few years back
with some books I read

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that fell off a passing tornado.

115
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It was like entering a universe
I never knew existed.

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I went to the ballet.

117
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And I completed
my self-education

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at the Springfield Athenaeum.

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- The what?
- Athenaeum.

120
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- The what?
- Museum.

121
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- The what?
- Pica-ture palace.

122
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Got it.
Oh, good lordy.

123
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I'm starting to worry
there's more layers to you

124
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than a skunk
and tomater sandwich.

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Brandine, I'm sorry.

126
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But I-I can't have
a stranger as my woman.

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Remember your vow.

128
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You promised to love, honor,
and never grow in any way.

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Well, you're right about that.

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I'll leave now,

131
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but I'll be back
for most of the children.

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That's fair enough.

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All right, which ones of y'all
want to stay with me?

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00:06:43,306 --> 00:06:47,080
And remember, you go with her...
You gots to wash your hands.

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Whoa, you mean like every week?

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- Sorry, Ma.
- Can't do it.

137
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Say bye-bye to your mama.

138
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Or would you prefer
a "bon voyage"?

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Cletus Delroy Spuckler,

140
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you are lower than
a gopher's basement. Goodbye.

141
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Young'uns, turn away

142
00:07:03,747 --> 00:07:06,052
if you don't want to see
your daddy cry.

143
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We've seen you cry.

144
00:07:07,622 --> 00:07:10,226
But we've never seen you yodel.

145
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All right, then.

146
00:07:19,579 --> 00:07:21,550
Brandine!

147
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Are you here for further
book club discussions?

148
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I'm here because
I got nowhere else to go.

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I've been rejected by a man

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00:07:28,564 --> 00:07:30,935
who thinks it's funny
to light his farts.

151
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- You can light them?
- No, Homer, no!

152
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Hey, whoa!

153
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Wasn't me.

154
00:07:39,184 --> 00:07:42,057
Ms. Spuckler? I brought
some books you might like.

155
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You're a smart girl, Lisa.

156
00:07:44,395 --> 00:07:48,336
Which means life will be harder
than a month-old biscuit.

157
00:07:52,010 --> 00:07:54,315
So, about Cletus, um...

158
00:07:54,381 --> 00:07:56,953
I just have to ask, sorry.

159
00:07:57,020 --> 00:07:59,926
- What do you see in him?
- What do you mean?

160
00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:03,801
Don't you think maybe
you could've done, um, better?

161
00:08:03,867 --> 00:08:07,307
You mean, like you could've
done better than Homer?

162
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What? What?

163
00:08:09,779 --> 00:08:10,915
What?

164
00:08:10,981 --> 00:08:13,954
People think I could've done
better than Homer?

165
00:08:14,021 --> 00:08:15,691
Yes.

166
00:08:18,997 --> 00:08:22,037
I never knew
anyone felt that way.

167
00:08:22,137 --> 00:08:23,841
Reality check in aisle five.

168
00:08:23,941 --> 00:08:26,713
Disco Stu needs
to buy some glue.

169
00:08:26,813 --> 00:08:29,686
Also, Marge, please get a clue.

170
00:08:30,588 --> 00:08:32,592
Enough. Enough.

171
00:08:32,692 --> 00:08:34,696
I'll tell you
how I fell for Cletus.

172
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It was one of those
magical nights

173
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when the world was young
and everything was golden,

174
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including his tooth.

175
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We were seated
at the same hay bale

176
00:08:46,452 --> 00:08:49,425
at my sister's shotgun wedding.

177
00:08:49,491 --> 00:08:52,665
- Um, is this bale six?
- It is.

178
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,470
Do you ever look at someone
across a crowded pasture

179
00:08:55,538 --> 00:08:57,207
and your knees went all weak?

180
00:08:57,307 --> 00:09:00,514
Not from rickets or scurvy,
but from sheer infatuation?

181
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:04,421
Oh, I ransacked my brain
for le mot juste,

182
00:09:04,522 --> 00:09:06,092
but all I could find was...

183
00:09:06,225 --> 00:09:07,260
Derr.

184
00:09:07,327 --> 00:09:09,398
Derr yourself.

185
00:09:09,465 --> 00:09:10,634
In that moment,

186
00:09:10,701 --> 00:09:13,172
twenty years of being
the middle child

187
00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:14,776
in a family of 37

188
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fell away like high-heeled shoes
on a wedding night.

189
00:09:18,517 --> 00:09:21,523
Uh, you know,
I'm pretty sure we's cousins.

190
00:09:21,623 --> 00:09:24,261
Second? First?

191
00:09:24,361 --> 00:09:25,765
Kissing.

192
00:09:33,680 --> 00:09:36,051
You ever driven
a tractor before?

193
00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:37,522
No, sir.

194
00:09:37,588 --> 00:09:39,592
These blades massage the soil

195
00:09:39,692 --> 00:09:43,132
to make it ready
for what is sure to follow.

196
00:09:43,199 --> 00:09:44,803
Churn that soil.

197
00:09:44,903 --> 00:09:47,407
Churning. Always a-churning.

198
00:09:47,474 --> 00:09:52,618
Until you just plant that seed
in there real deep.

199
00:09:52,685 --> 00:09:54,756
You do this with all your dates?

200
00:09:54,823 --> 00:09:58,329
Now, if I did, don't you think
this field would be plowed?

201
00:09:58,396 --> 00:10:01,202
This is just for you, darling.

202
00:10:02,672 --> 00:10:05,043
You're ruining my marijuana!

203
00:10:05,076 --> 00:10:09,184
That night, I knew the next
shotgun wedding I went to

204
00:10:09,284 --> 00:10:11,222
was gonna be mine.

205
00:10:21,610 --> 00:10:25,083
Oh, look who it is,
Little Miss Google Noodle.

206
00:10:25,183 --> 00:10:25,985
This isn't fair.

207
00:10:26,118 --> 00:10:28,356
There's four times
as many of you.

208
00:10:28,456 --> 00:10:31,495
She's trying to teach us
to multiply.

209
00:10:31,596 --> 00:10:32,596
Get her!

210
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:51,302
Yoink.

211
00:10:52,738 --> 00:10:54,509
Hello? What is this?

212
00:10:54,642 --> 00:10:56,478
Fight over
who beats me up first?

213
00:10:56,580 --> 00:10:58,584
Someone's nonplussed.

214
00:10:58,650 --> 00:11:00,688
Correct usage.

215
00:11:00,788 --> 00:11:01,823
Are you a real kid

216
00:11:01,890 --> 00:11:04,328
or did the voice
in my head come to life?

217
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:06,465
Lisa Simpson,

218
00:11:06,533 --> 00:11:08,202
I'd like to modestly ask you

219
00:11:08,269 --> 00:11:11,041
to join our League
of Extraordinary Geniuses.

220
00:11:20,728 --> 00:11:22,230
A club for smart kids?

221
00:11:22,297 --> 00:11:25,771
But I've never noticed any other
names on the online honor roll.

222
00:11:25,838 --> 00:11:27,374
And I refresh it hourly.

223
00:11:27,474 --> 00:11:29,712
We hide in the shadows.

224
00:11:29,812 --> 00:11:33,419
Which is scary, so we bring
little flashlights.

225
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,223
Eh, just you, Myles.

226
00:11:36,392 --> 00:11:37,895
To avoid suspicion,

227
00:11:37,929 --> 00:11:40,701
we figured out
how to be good at sports.

228
00:11:50,654 --> 00:11:52,658
We don't wear our glasses,

229
00:11:52,725 --> 00:11:54,696
even though we really need them.

230
00:11:54,796 --> 00:11:59,137
Hold on. That food
is not fit for students.

231
00:12:01,008 --> 00:12:04,147
Starve a landfill,
feed a teacher.

232
00:12:04,949 --> 00:12:07,622
So you pretend to be dumb?

233
00:12:07,688 --> 00:12:09,559
Absolutely. To survive.

234
00:12:09,659 --> 00:12:12,932
Like a brightly-colored bug
who is actually poison inside.

235
00:12:12,999 --> 00:12:15,470
The Dasymutilla Occidentalis?

236
00:12:15,537 --> 00:12:17,274
Don't tell anyone you know that.

237
00:12:17,374 --> 00:12:19,913
If you do, the bullies will
pounce on you like an...

238
00:12:19,946 --> 00:12:21,583
Arilus Cristatus?

239
00:12:21,683 --> 00:12:24,722
Arilus Cristatus?
Who said that?

240
00:12:24,822 --> 00:12:26,258
- Ar...
- Shh. Quiet.

241
00:12:26,358 --> 00:12:31,001
Name one more genus and species
and you will be silenced.

242
00:12:31,970 --> 00:12:34,174
Engage the Idiot Shield.

243
00:12:34,274 --> 00:12:37,648
Wheel. Of. Fortune.

244
00:12:37,715 --> 00:12:39,919
Wheel of Fortune's on.
Let's get home.

245
00:12:42,825 --> 00:12:44,261
And that's how I realized

246
00:12:44,294 --> 00:12:47,033
wheelchair ramps
are bitching skateboard jumps.

247
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:49,338
Thanks, Americans
with Disabilities Act.

248
00:12:50,741 --> 00:12:53,346
I miss
my rotten little apples.

249
00:12:53,412 --> 00:12:57,020
Especially the babies:
Moderna, AstraZeneca,

250
00:12:57,053 --> 00:12:59,759
and the twins,
Johnson and Johnson.

251
00:12:59,859 --> 00:13:01,195
Well, I just wanted to say,

252
00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:04,234
this is the best
possum potpie I ever had.

253
00:13:04,334 --> 00:13:05,938
I know what you're
thinking, Lisa.

254
00:13:06,005 --> 00:13:07,975
But if God didn't want us
to eat possums,

255
00:13:08,042 --> 00:13:10,380
he wouldn't have
made them look so delicious.

256
00:13:10,446 --> 00:13:13,386
I'm just thinking about a club
I may join at school.

257
00:13:13,452 --> 00:13:15,524
This one recruited me.

258
00:13:15,591 --> 00:13:17,628
Aw, that's wonderful.

259
00:13:17,695 --> 00:13:20,400
And Maggie, how was your day?

260
00:13:23,740 --> 00:13:26,078
I feel so bad for Brandine.

261
00:13:26,178 --> 00:13:28,482
Homie, will you go
talk to Cletus?

262
00:13:28,550 --> 00:13:30,587
For you, baby, anything.

263
00:13:32,457 --> 00:13:35,496
Sorry. I didn't fix the light
switch like you asked me to.

264
00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,400
Well, maybe tomorrow?

265
00:13:37,500 --> 00:13:39,471
For sure maybe.

266
00:13:39,539 --> 00:13:43,079
Homer, do you think
people look at us and say,

267
00:13:43,179 --> 00:13:45,884
"Why does she stay with him?"

268
00:13:47,053 --> 00:13:48,098
Why does she stay with him?

269
00:13:48,122 --> 00:13:51,295
Lord, why does
she stay with him?

270
00:13:51,428 --> 00:13:52,798
Oh, yeah!

271
00:13:52,865 --> 00:13:54,836
Why does Mommy stay with...

272
00:13:56,138 --> 00:13:58,209
Don't tell her you can talk.

273
00:13:58,275 --> 00:14:00,881
I don't think
I could've done better,

274
00:14:00,948 --> 00:14:03,854
but it seems every other person
in town thinks so.

275
00:14:03,954 --> 00:14:06,291
You're not going to listen
to everybody, are you?

276
00:14:06,358 --> 00:14:07,695
No, I'm not.

277
00:14:07,795 --> 00:14:09,498
Just hang the blanket
over the window

278
00:14:09,565 --> 00:14:10,868
so I can get to sleep.

279
00:14:10,968 --> 00:14:12,538
We don't have to do that anymore

280
00:14:12,638 --> 00:14:14,842
because I fixed the blinds.

281
00:14:19,051 --> 00:14:21,088
Ooh, a shooting star.

282
00:14:21,155 --> 00:14:22,725
That's the water heater.

283
00:14:23,860 --> 00:14:25,496
Cletus,
you and Brandine have

284
00:14:25,597 --> 00:14:26,966
to get back together.

285
00:14:27,067 --> 00:14:28,970
Broken marriages are contagious.

286
00:14:29,071 --> 00:14:32,377
This is not about if'n or not
I love Brandine. I do!

287
00:14:32,477 --> 00:14:35,450
But she refused to tell me
who she was.

288
00:14:35,517 --> 00:14:38,990
Does she now think
hill folk are a-a joke?

289
00:14:39,124 --> 00:14:41,061
Well, some of it's funny.

290
00:14:41,128 --> 00:14:43,834
I mean, that long underwear with
the back door for the butt?

291
00:14:43,934 --> 00:14:45,571
When it flaps open...

292
00:14:48,610 --> 00:14:51,014
I mean, come on.

293
00:14:51,081 --> 00:14:53,085
You just follow me.

294
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,456
Aw, sheet.

295
00:15:00,199 --> 00:15:02,170
Brandine didn't just lie to me.

296
00:15:02,270 --> 00:15:04,040
What she done is made a mockery

297
00:15:04,107 --> 00:15:08,416
of my forebearers who possibly
did include four bears.

298
00:15:08,482 --> 00:15:11,388
I want you to look at me
not as a hick, or a bumpkin,

299
00:15:11,455 --> 00:15:13,727
but as a human being.
With feelings.

300
00:15:13,794 --> 00:15:14,996
Just like you.

301
00:15:17,066 --> 00:15:19,237
Oh, my God. You're right.

302
00:15:20,373 --> 00:15:22,143
I don't know
how to feel right now.

303
00:15:22,210 --> 00:15:23,647
I'm worried about your marriage.

304
00:15:23,747 --> 00:15:25,551
I'm worried about my marriage.

305
00:15:25,617 --> 00:15:27,220
Homer, no matter how you feel,

306
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:30,961
there's a country song
that expresses it perfectly.

307
00:15:32,598 --> 00:15:34,936
No, that's not quite it.

308
00:15:36,906 --> 00:15:38,442
Here we go.

309
00:15:40,413 --> 00:15:44,254
It's like they're singing just to me.

310
00:16:03,492 --> 00:16:06,465
Oh, why is it so catchy?

311
00:16:30,079 --> 00:16:31,014
Are you leaving?

312
00:16:31,081 --> 00:16:32,651
I'm going home.

313
00:16:32,718 --> 00:16:34,020
Marriages aren't perfect.

314
00:16:34,087 --> 00:16:38,162
I've even forgiven him
for blowing a jug in his sleep.

315
00:16:41,936 --> 00:16:44,040
Well, that's great,
because my new friends

316
00:16:44,140 --> 00:16:45,777
have given me the same tip.

317
00:16:45,844 --> 00:16:47,313
"Hide your intelligence."

318
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:50,419
No, not you. You're too young.

319
00:16:50,486 --> 00:16:52,758
You have everything
ahead of you.

320
00:16:52,825 --> 00:16:54,762
Show 'em how smart you are.

321
00:16:54,829 --> 00:16:56,298
- Really?
- A-yup.

322
00:16:56,365 --> 00:16:59,137
You hear that, brain?
You're free.

323
00:16:59,204 --> 00:17:01,174
Veni, vidi, vici!

324
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:03,412
Whoa, slow down there, poindexter.

325
00:17:31,134 --> 00:17:33,038
Attention.
I have some announcements

326
00:17:33,105 --> 00:17:34,374
regarding the cafeteria menu.

327
00:17:34,441 --> 00:17:36,278
Several items are misspelled.

328
00:17:36,311 --> 00:17:38,315
"Gren beans"
should be green beans.

329
00:17:38,415 --> 00:17:40,286
"Tater tats" are tater tots.

330
00:17:40,386 --> 00:17:41,956
"Healthy" should be not healthy.

331
00:17:42,056 --> 00:17:44,261
Also...

332
00:17:44,327 --> 00:17:46,799
You have to listen.
I'm wearing a necktie.

333
00:17:48,068 --> 00:17:50,172
I am not bemused.

334
00:17:51,008 --> 00:17:53,279
Uh, excuse me,
Principal Skinner?

335
00:17:53,345 --> 00:17:55,149
Uh, I just wanted to say

336
00:17:55,249 --> 00:17:57,922
that I think you meant
you are not "amused"?

337
00:17:58,022 --> 00:17:59,825
"Bemused" means bewildered.

338
00:17:59,892 --> 00:18:01,094
What is she doing?

339
00:18:01,161 --> 00:18:03,900
Revealing her intellect.
Oh, the fool.

340
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:07,508
This isn't a magnet school.
We don't even own a magnet.

341
00:18:07,574 --> 00:18:10,479
That's because I swallowed it.

342
00:18:12,518 --> 00:18:15,590
Never again will I hide
my intelligence.

343
00:18:15,657 --> 00:18:18,362
I am smartacus.

344
00:18:19,565 --> 00:18:21,502
I am smartacus.

345
00:18:21,603 --> 00:18:24,474
Unsurprisingly,
I also am smartacus.

346
00:18:24,609 --> 00:18:29,384
I am smartacus.
Well, sort of smartacus.

347
00:18:29,451 --> 00:18:32,256
Well, perfect attendacus.

348
00:18:32,323 --> 00:18:34,194
Sitting downacus.

349
00:18:35,998 --> 00:18:37,534
It's time to squelch this wave

350
00:18:37,635 --> 00:18:38,737
of love of learning

351
00:18:38,837 --> 00:18:39,972
and show them who's boss.

352
00:18:40,072 --> 00:18:41,676
They are, loser.

353
00:18:41,743 --> 00:18:43,713
I declare half a day.

354
00:18:43,813 --> 00:18:45,449
Still too much.

355
00:18:45,550 --> 00:18:47,086
Okay, no day.

356
00:18:48,590 --> 00:18:50,994
Who wants their lunch
money back?

357
00:18:51,128 --> 00:18:54,167
Not me.
It's fish stick day.

358
00:18:55,403 --> 00:18:57,675
This is it, Brandine.
Kill your brain.

359
00:18:57,775 --> 00:18:58,677
Take your medicine.

360
00:18:58,777 --> 00:19:00,547
Mama!

361
00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:02,150
Oh, hi, kids.

362
00:19:02,250 --> 00:19:05,189
Look at how
some of you have grown.

363
00:19:05,222 --> 00:19:06,291
Where's your pap?

364
00:19:06,358 --> 00:19:08,329
He's been doing
a lot of thinking.

365
00:19:08,395 --> 00:19:12,103
About you and him.
Can't go on like it has.

366
00:19:12,170 --> 00:19:14,240
He said he's going to
a govement building

367
00:19:14,307 --> 00:19:17,180
to get something
so he can start a new life.

368
00:19:17,246 --> 00:19:19,150
No. I got to stop him.

369
00:19:19,250 --> 00:19:20,587
- It's too late.
- Wha...?

370
00:19:20,654 --> 00:19:21,823
Signed and sealed.

371
00:19:21,889 --> 00:19:25,564
I got me a liberry card.

372
00:19:29,237 --> 00:19:30,841
Oh, Cletus.

373
00:19:31,976 --> 00:19:33,580
And my first book.

374
00:19:34,615 --> 00:19:36,986
Yeah, man,
this looks like a toughie.

375
00:19:37,120 --> 00:19:39,592
We'll get through it together.

376
00:19:41,629 --> 00:19:44,602
- Homie?
- Marge, never again will I be the guy

377
00:19:44,702 --> 00:19:47,373
about who people say,
"Why is she still with him?"

378
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,179
I fixed the drapes.
And the light switch.

379
00:19:50,279 --> 00:19:52,918
Oh, nice.

380
00:19:53,018 --> 00:19:54,330
But you'll have
to do more than that.

381
00:19:54,354 --> 00:19:58,028
I also cleaned
the lint trap in the dryer.

382
00:19:59,565 --> 00:20:00,667
And?

383
00:20:00,734 --> 00:20:01,869
Four things?

384
00:20:01,936 --> 00:20:03,338
Okay, Marge. I admit it.

385
00:20:03,439 --> 00:20:06,178
You could do better,
but I couldn't.

386
00:20:06,311 --> 00:20:09,250
Every day you give me
something awesome to shoot for.

387
00:20:09,317 --> 00:20:11,823
Though I may occasionally
fall short,

388
00:20:11,889 --> 00:20:15,897
because you are so great,
I will never stop trying.

389
00:20:15,964 --> 00:20:17,233
I love you, Marge.

390
00:20:17,333 --> 00:20:19,705
I love you, too.

391
00:20:21,709 --> 00:20:23,847
Finally,
just in case I needed it.

392
00:20:23,913 --> 00:20:25,784
I got Elton John back.

393
00:20:25,884 --> 00:20:28,957
And he's here,
ready to play for you again.

394
00:20:30,126 --> 00:20:33,432
Oh, Homie. I never needed that.

395
00:20:34,902 --> 00:20:38,676
You mean I learned
226 songs for nothing?

396
00:20:38,743 --> 00:20:41,682
I don't think they'll be
needing you guys either.

397
00:20:41,749 --> 00:20:44,053
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

398
00:20:51,803 --> 00:20:53,205
I want to tell y'all

399
00:20:53,272 --> 00:20:54,809
about an American classic

400
00:20:54,875 --> 00:20:59,552
that details a wealthy lifestyle
far beyond my reckoning.

401
00:20:59,618 --> 00:21:02,423
It's called
The Grapes of Wrath.

402
00:21:02,490 --> 00:21:05,564
- It's about a middle-
- American family what drives

403
00:21:05,630 --> 00:21:07,935
to California for a better life.

404
00:21:08,001 --> 00:21:10,540
For a much better treatment
of this subject,

405
00:21:10,607 --> 00:21:14,615
I recommend National
Lampoon's Vacation,

406
00:21:14,682 --> 00:21:17,888
now available on Hillbilly Plus.

407
00:21:17,988 --> 00:21:20,827
Y'all come back now, you hear?

408
00:21:20,894 --> 00:21:23,031
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION.

409
00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:24,702
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY

410
00:21:24,768 --> 00:21:26,739
And FORD.
We go further, so you can.

411
00:21:26,806 --> 00:21:28,966
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org